Wonder and Charades

Tonight Sintija and I took Marshall for a walk after the boys had gone to bed. It was dusk, and the evening's first fireflies were venturing out. Apparently they don't have fireflies in Latvia - Sintija stopped dead in her tracks, pointed at one of the blinks, and said, "What is das????" I caught a firefly and showed her - she was fascinated! (And obviously impressed at my bug catching prowess...) Through motions, I told her when I was young we would catch lots and lots of fireflies.

On our way back home we passed a power pole that has some sort of control box on it with a blinking red light. She pointed and asked, "What is das?" Picture, if you will, what pantomiming "When the red light blinks, there is power. No blinking, no power." I imagine it was pretty entertaining to the ladies walking behind us (I added sound effects to help convey meaning, which probably only heightened their entertainment or horror...)

Another thing I learned walking Marshall tonight with Sintija is that "I will walk Marshall with you, but there is NO WAY I'm picking up his poop in that poop bag" sounds about the same in Latvia as it does when my sons say it to me in English.

Life with Sintija is good!

A Little Update

First off, I'm so sorry! I had every intention of documenting our hosting experience day by day on the blog, but as you can see, I have failed miserably with that! Part of the delay in posting is that we have been very busy. The other part is that I am almost at a loss for words as to what to say. I want this (and all!) of my posts to be well written, but I am still processing so much about our time with Sintija that I doubt this one will qualify. Please bear with me if you are interested in an update!

We have enjoyed doing lots of fun things with Sintija. We have been swimming, hiking, spending time with friends, shopping, playing Uno, and visiting Opryland Hotel. It has been a blast! Sintija is such a fun and darling young lady. Of course, nothing is perfect and we have had a few brief moments of frustration (on both our parts!) but all in all we are having a great time!

Sintija has been with us now 15 days - we're getting close to the halfway point of hosting. It has been...I'm at a loss for words to describe our experience accurately! It has been...amazing, fun, painful, emotional, joyful, easy, humbling, heartbreaking, uplifting... Mark's word sums it up best - "changing". In training they remind us over and over again not to go into hosting with any expectations, and there is great wisdom in that advice. I could never have been prepared for what the last 15 days have been like. If I had had any inkling of the emotional roller coaster this sweet, funny, smart young lady would take us on, I imagine I would have chickened out altogether!

Let me see if I can explain it a little clearer this way.

Hosting has been...

Amazing: There have been so many moments of amazement! We are amazed to learn about her life in Latvia, and she is amazed when she recognizes SpongeBob or Harry Potter. Amazing was the first time she saw the waterfalls inside Opryland Hotel. Amazing was when she and I spoke for hours in broken English and Latvian (with the aid of a computer translation program here and there).

Fun: I was worried that our family's joking attitude would overwhelm whoever we hosted, but let me tell you - Sintija can hold her own in the Kimmel house! She is hilarious!!!! Absolutely hilarious! We laugh together almost all the time. She is very quick witted and has running jokes with each of us. We play some seriously cut throat Uno games, but they always end with everyone laughing. She is hysterically funny and fun to be around.

Painful: Loving someone unconditionally is difficult. Loving a total stranger unconditionally can be painful. Especially when you know deep down that she would probably rather be loved unconditionally by someone else. I was caught off guard by how open my heart would become, and an open heart gets wounded now and again.

Emotional: Like I said, hosting is an emotional roller coaster. Everyone in our house is working through a new experience, and at times it is pleasant, if not joyful, and at other times it is painful and sad. We all have laughed and cried and felt anger and spent a few moments hurting. I have been sad, overwhelmed, hopeful, jealous, sad, joyful, disappointed, and angry at one moment or another. Hosting Sintija has been one of the most emotionally difficult experiences I have had in years.

Joyful: This young lady spreads joy. She just does. She isn't perfect or fake, but she is vibrant and lively, and being with her and sharing experiences with her brings us such joy it is almost immeasurable! Such joy!

Easy: Now "easy" is not a word they ever used in training for this, but Mark and I both have been astonished at how easy it is to have Sintija in our house. She just fits. I had mentally prepared myself to have a guest in our home for five weeks, but she doesn't feel at all like company, but more like family. Again, she isn't perfect and she isn't always agreeable, but she is easy to have around.

Humbling: I always thought I had a pretty accurate view of Americans and our every day life, but I have been humbled by getting to know Sintija. You hear the concept of hosting orphaned children for the summer, and you automatically think of all the experiences you can bless them with. Let's face it - our life here isn't full of every day hardships. We have what we truly need and then some. I discovered in myself a hidden smugness that I didn't expect to find. This young lady comes from a foster family of limited resources, but she is rich in character. In so many ways, she has taught us, led us, inspired us. I thought hosting would broaden her "world view". I didn't realize it would shatter my own.

Heartbreaking: Heartbreaking is watching a brave young lady fight back tears of homesickness. Heartbreaking is seeing such fortitude and realizing what in her past may have cultivated that. Heartbreaking is acknowledging that we may never know what happens in her life after this summer. Heartbreaking is knowing that she is hurting or sad, but is unable to find the words to express it. Heartbreaking is accepting that I cannot meet all her needs the way my heart desires to. Heartbreaking is feeling precious days slip away.

Uplifting: So much about this experience has blessed my heart. It has not always been perfect. This is still real, every day life (except with a few more Latvian words throw about here and there!). But I feel so uplifted and encouraged, and I am not exactly sure what has produced that. I think it may be the little moments each day when I see glimpses of the "bigger" picture. We were given a Latvian New Testament for Sintija, and this morning after spending time listening to Jude read, I asked Sintija to read from John chapter 1 in Latvian. I don't think John 1 has ever sounded more beautiful, and I am reminded again that God is God and I don't have to be. God can love this precious young lady more thoroughly than I ever can, and that truth is uplifting to me! (And a relief as well, if I am being honest!)

I don't know if I will ever be able to find the words to describe what life has been like these last 15 days with Sintija. I keep coming back to the verse about Jesus' mother in Luke that says, "And Mary stored up all these things and pondered them in her heart". Storing up memories and pondering them in my heart may be all that I can do, and that may have to be enough for me.

The International Language of...

When we attended our host training back in April, the staff kept reiterating that the language barrier wouldn't be the biggest hurdle during our five weeks of hosting an international child. Mark and I were slightly incredulous. How in the world could anything be more difficult and frustrating than trying to communicate with someone who doesn't speak much English????

During our first few days with Sintija, Mark and I frequently exchanged that look that said, "Those NHFC staff folks don't know what they're talking about. Either that, or they get first dibs on the truly bilingual kids. This language thing is HARD!" But after several days together, we have learned that some things translate well in any language.

1. Gas

Having two young boys in the house, I knew going into this that at some point personal comfort would trump proper etiquette. I was, however, hoping proper etiquette could hold out a little longer than it has.

Yesterday we were swimming at our friends pool (Thanks, McLarrens!) and Jude absolutely ripped it. I mean all out tooted. Sintija laughed and said, "JUDE-UH!" in her sweet Latvian voice. Gas must sound the same no matter where you come from. (I imagine the smell could vary by region though.)

2. Amazement

Today I took Jude, Cal, and Sintija to Opryland Hotel. If you ever find yourself in Nashville with a little extra time to kill, you really should walk through Opryland Hotel. Now having lived here for four years, I have been to Opryland Hotel a half dozen times, and really, for me, the novelty has worn off a bit. Big building, lots of plants, a waterfall here and there. Today I got to see everything there through Sintija's eyes, and it was breathtaking once again. There were many oooohhhhhs and aaahhhhs and "Look! Look!" We took 89 pictures while we were there! Sintija's enthusiasm was contagious, and we had a fabulous time together.

3. America's Funniest Home Videos

Tonight we had an indoor picnic, complete with pizza, picnic blanket, and AFV on the tube. Falling down, practical jokes, and surprise hits to the crotch are funny no matter what language the "ouch!" is spoken in.

4. Wipeout

Along that same line, a commercial for the TV show "Wipeout" (Weds on ABC) came on tonight and Sintija hollered, "Wipeout! Wipeout! Latvia have Wipeout!". It is a small world after all - we actually plan Wednesday evenings around that show. It's hilarious.

5. Puzzles

Sintija and the boys spent some time her first day here working on a few puzzles. She is very, very good at them, so I busted out a 500 piece puzzle and she and I worked on it for awhile tonight. She is so quick - it's like she has this amazing engineering/spatial relations thing that former theater majors like myself must not come equipped with. I loved sitting there tonight working on the puzzle with her.

It has been an adventure learning to communicate with this sweet, shy Latvian child. But for all of the frustration, we have had these moments of absolute clarity - when I can look at her and she at me, and we know exactly what the other is thinking.

There are some things that translate perfectly.

Anyone Can Evangelize.

Calvin is a rough and tumble, wild and crazy, catch me if you can kind of kid.

But - oh! - the heart underneath it all...

We sat down at the computer to use an online site that translates English to Latvian and back, and I asked the boys what they wanted to say to Sintija.  

Immediately Calvin insisted I type "God loves you, Sintija."

When it translated, she just nodded and smiled.  

Underneath all that imagination and energy and motion is the heart of an evangelist.  We are so blessed by him!

Puzzles and Play-Doh, and Pools..Oh My!

We are into day 3 of hosting, and it has been an amazing and interesting ride so far!  There is so much I want to blog about, and I almost don't know where to start.  I imagine this post will be a bit all over the place, but bear with me if you can!

The best word I can use to describe Sintija is...sweet.  She is shy and quiet some of the time, but when she lets her guard down (around the boys and Marshall especially) she has such a sweet, gentle spirit.  Mark and I are in a sort of unique position with Sintija having come from a foster family situation (let me specify - a good foster family situation), because so many of the nuances of family living are already familiar to her.  She understands taking turns and including everyone and the "chain of command" of a family, whereas many of the children coming from an orphanage may not understand family dynamics as well as she does.  

The boys are quite smitten with her, as is Marshall.  He is always trying to get in some dog smooches, and although she has a dog in Latvia, apparently they don't do allow much dog kissing there!  She loves to pet him and love on him, but when he works his way close enough to lick her face she stops him right there.  The boys think Sintija is just plain cool.  I mean, she didn't bat an eye about donning a paintball mask and shooting Nerf darts at objects, so she has earned their favor very quickly!  Jude is all about communicating with her, and if people didn't know our situation they might think he is in training to be a mime.  Calvin (in typical Calvin fashion) enjoys making her laugh by being silly and showing off his physical prowess.  She does a good job stroking his little ego!  :) 

As for my favorite moment so far, it happened just a few hours ago, and the thought of it still makes me smile.  The boys introduced Sintija to the joy of Mario Kart on the Wii.  I was downstairs while they were playing and suddenly I hear this sweet Latvian voice saying, "No!  No!  Not good!  No!  Not good!"  followed by laughter.  Apparently her MarioKart skills weren't what she thought they should be.  So sweet to hear their three voices giggling together...

Any problems, you may wonder?  Not anything super big.  She is a very well adjusted, sweet (there is that word again, but it fits her!) girl.  She isn't terribly interested in trying a bunch of new foods, but I can respect that as I wouldn't be all gung ho to go to Latvia and try something I've never seen before there!  We went to the grocery store this morning, and together we figured out what foods she likes and got some of that.  Lots of fresh produce, which would please Dr. Holistic since it helps me with my eating too!  

She speaks the very basics of English - yes, no, OK, etc. - and we will start working on English with her more formally come Monday with flashcards, but we have managed to do well communicating.  (See mom and dad, that theatre major idea has really paid off!)  We also are using an online site called IMTranslator that will allow you to type in English and translate it into Latvian and vice versa which has been cool.  It is a much easier way to get to know her...when the translations are correct!  I wanted to ask her what animals they have at her home in Latvia, and instead it translated out, "What animal are you in Latvia?"  Um, not exactly...

So much more I would love to share, but I think I am still in the processing phase, and I'm going to mull things over for awhile first.  Suffice it to say, we are enjoying having her here, and she is adjusting as well as can be expected - actually, maybe better than can be expected.  

Here are a few pictures of our first few days!

Just Real Quick...

Sintija is here!  

She is exhausted from all her travel and I am too tired to do a long blog post, but I wanted to let you know she is here!

She is doing really well, all things considered.  She did start to get sad and homesick this afternoon, but she took a nice long nap, got up for some food, and is sleeping again.  I am heading to bed too - I only slept about two hours last night and I am too old for that!

Please pray that God will comfort Sintija as she adjusts to the time change and our family.  And pray for Mark and the boys and I that we can help encourage her and love her!

Thanks all!

Sintija and Matching Shoes

After all the planning, training, painting, and preparing - Sintija finally arrives tomorrow to the US!  It seems like hosting has been this thing we have talked about in the near future, but tomorrow this thing becomes a reality, a reality in the form of a young girl.  Tomorrow hosting stops being something we are doing and becomes someone we are loving.  

It's all a little overwhelming.

I am sure hosting is what we should be doing right now.  Mark and I have no doubts about that.  But we have no idea what the actual experience will be like.  Most everything is an unknown!  Will she speak much English?  (We don't know.)  Will she be able to relax and bond with us over time?  (We hope so.)  Will the boys overwhelm her with their...boyness?  (Hmmmm.)  For that matter, will the boys be able to hang out at home for five weeks in something other than their underwear?  (Oh, let's hope so for Sintija's sake!)  There is just no way to predict what will happen for the rest of the summer.  All we can do is pray.

That has been the biggest lesson for me so far in getting ready to host.  NHFC does an all day, very intensive training, and they give you all kinds of information about these kids and where they are coming from.  But there are no absolutes in this.  I can't "get good" at hosting.  All I can do at this point is...do.  

I realize that I don't often put myself in situations where I can't predict a successful outcome, at least most of the time.  I tend to stick to things I have some self-confidence in - especially when it comes to spiritual growth.  Even as I read that last sentence back, I shudder.  Not much faith walking going on these days in my life.  I probably haven't felt this out of my element since standing on the Supreme Court steps on a chilly November evening praying with red tape over my mouth.  I was afraid then.  I admit - I am a little afraid now.  

Hosting Sintija is beyond me.  This feels so far past my abilities.  That's not false modesty, friends.  There are days when I feel stretched beyond loving the three men who already live under this roof.  And now I am going to add a stranger to the mix - a girl whose background is totally foreign (in every sense of the word) to mine.  God has to help us.  That's the only way we can do this.  

A long time ago, I did a children's sermon where I walked to the front of the church with one high heeled shoe on one foot and a sneaker on the other.  I stumbled along very ungracefully until I got up with the kids and asked them if they noticed anything odd about my outfit that day.  They noticed right away that my shoes didn't match.  After showing them how hard it was to walk in two very different shoes, I told them that it can be hard to walk through life when what we say we believe doesn't match what we do.  It's awkward and hard to get anywhere that way.  

For so long, I have said that my heart breaks for children who are left hurting in this world.  God has challenged me to make my spiritual shoes match.  

I am counting on Him to help me walk it out.